Have you ever watched The Inbetweeners? It’s this British comedy about four high school kids doing coming of age stuff but in the most cringe-worthy manner possible.
I can’t watch so many scenes because the second-hand embarrassment slowly kills me.
And embarrassment is such a weird response to things, right?
An awkward situation unfolds, and it’s theoretically “fine,” but in that very moment, you wish you could jump off a bridge - just to escape.
Embarrassment is just fear in disguise.
You don’t want to be a sore thumb, and being one gives us crazy physical responses. It’s our primitive mind saying, “Don’t f*ck with the tribe, you idiot, they’ll disown us!”
But here in 2020, embarrassment or fear of being a fool is one of the most crucial barriers to break through for success.
Asking for More
“Hey, can I get a discount on this coffee?”
“Hey, do you mind if I take your seat, I like the window.”
“Hey, do you want to go on a date?”
The bloody horror, right? Oh no! How could you ever be this person? A line of people behind you, and you’re that asshat asking for a discount. You’re on a bus, and you want to swap - how f*cking dare you ask the question!
And yet, the very worst thing that could reasonably happen is someone says no. You get rejected, judged, or embarrassed.
But let me tell you something right now, this type of rejection is a workout.
See, when I was a teenager, I felt exactly like the characters in The Inbetweeners. Anything I did felt embarrassing until I said, screw this noise, I’m taking control.
I desensitized myself by purposefully doing things that would make me get that feeling - I know, masochist here.
And it was precisely what I said above. I didn’t want a discount, as much as I didn’t care for a seat.
But asking and asking loudly so people around me would hear - that created tension.
And I got used to that tension.
It was a workout. Plus, half the time, I’d get what I asked for - but oh boy, the end game is much better than that; a discount on a shirt isn’t the opportunity.
The 10x Opportunity
Crazy things start to happen when “Hey, can I get a discount” transforms to “Hey, I think I deserve a raise.”
“I deserve this job.”
“Can you please take another look at my submission.”
“Hey I’m following up for the 4th time.”
Like I said before, that type of embarrassment that you made yourself go through - that was the workout.
Opportunities, at least in my opinion, come to those who ask, and ask again.
And yet, after one silly “No” or even with one assumption that the answer is going to be no - the majority of us don’t take the shot.
So here’s my plea.
Take the shot. Ask for more. You absolutely deserve it.
And the potential rejection, which costs you nothing, is worth the opportunity that may make your career, relationship, or life.
Best of luck, friend.
🔗 Link Dump
In this week’s dumpster diving, I found some things that I was late to the party on - but maybe you’re a laggard like me, or perhaps I’m not so late.
🔧 My new-found productivity tool - Notion.
🧵 The 7 threads that have given me some quality value over the last few months.
📰 Kind of related to this email - if you want to get a grasp on loss aversion and how to deal with rejection, I wrote something for that.
🎙️ A profile on the serial entrepreneur you probably know nothing about - this guy’s done a lot.
A small one for this week, but that twitter thread has some real value!
Appreciate you tuning in, and as always, if you found this one useful or it resonated, I’d really appreciate you sharing it with someone that might like it too!
Have a great week!