Hereās the theory: My Turkish heritage and Aussie lifestyle have turned me into a boomerang made out of kebabs - a tasty meal that keeps coming back.
See, I said that sentence to myself half a dozen times before writing it, and even though Iāve committed to leaving it there, it still sounds sexual somehow and doesnāt make much sense; tasty meals donāt come back - theyāre inhaled.
Fuck it, it stays.
What I mean, though, is that I keep going back to things Iāve done, dusted, and thought Iād closed the loop on; things Iād decided werenāt for me.
And okay, okay, I hear you, āWhat do you mean?ā and āWhy should I care?ā
Well, you should care because I have a sneaking suspicion that you might also do this - both to your benefit and your detriment.
So, I think knowing when itās worth it helps - and look, no promises, but I think Iāve figured it out.
And for the explanation and examples of boomerang-style going back to things, letās use my life because I want to continue the egotistical trend of āeverything about me!ā - and bare with me here.
š² The Journey
šš¼ I graduate from university.
šš¼ I get a full-time job working as some hybrid IT/Data/Programing/Analyst guy at a not-for-profit.
šš¼ I stay in the position for a year and learn a lot. Itās not amazing, but then again, I donāt have a billion-dollar cha-ching idea to start a startup.
šš¼ I stay one more year, and this time Iām not learning; I realize I donāt like corporate. I start blogging on Medium (where you probably found me), and I hone my coding skills.
šš¼ At the end of that year, I quit and realize two things: I want to travel, and I want to start a business.
šš¼ I travel all of 2019 (I can hear you swearing at me for that perfect timing).
šš¼ Come back home in 2020, and go full-time freelancing and blogging. Get stressed out with how unpredictable it is but find some success. Then I struggle as covid picks up, and layoffs begin to happen.
And this is where the boomerang-ing starts to happen.
š¢ (Boomerang Kebab #1) Mid 2020 - Contract out as a Data Analyst to pay the bills, so now Iām back into corporate - but not entirely.
š¢š¢ (Boomerang Kebab #2) 2021- Accept a job as a Business Analyst for a consulting firm, learn a lot, meet many incredible people, hate a lot of the work, and now Iām fully back into corporate.
š¢š¢š¢ (Boomerang Kebab #3) I quit corporate again in 2022.
Picked blogging back up again,
Went deep into software development again and;
Booked flights to go traveling again.
For some of these, like travel, you might be thinking, āwell, thatās okay, I also want to travel many times.ā And for others, you might be thinking, āhmmā¦ā
š§Ø The Cuck
Itās like watching your friend go back to the same abusive ex - youāre shouting āNooo!ā both internally and externally - watching them repeat mistakes.
And as a reflective person, you can imagine my state of mind right now.
As I quit my corporate job, click buy on flights, pick back up the skills that I was previously trying to develop, and start blogging again - my brain is generating a lot of question marks.
You can also imagine how these question marks made me feel when I went back into corporate (something I decided I didnāt like previously), admitting defeat.
You can imagine how I might be feeling now and the negative self-talk that might be going on in my head in weak moments.
Because on the surface, and hell, even deeper - these decisions seem like theyāre the same mistakes being made again and again.
Weāre meant to use a feedback loop to avoid this - we make a mistake, assess and learn, change what we do, and get a different result.
Should I not be trying something different?
Why am I seemingly doing the same shit and expecting a different result? Is being a boomerang bad? Am I a helpless human going back to their cheating scum-lord-or-lady ex?
Well, hereās the thing, Iāve slowly realized that what Iām doing isnāt necessarily bad if Iām not the boomerang, but Iām the one throwing it.
ā° The Loop
I said earlier that weāre āmeant to use a feedback loop,ā didnāt I?
So it makes no sense to keep doing things that have failed because weāre meant to learn from them and change our behavior.
And the logic makes sense if we look at this from a broad āour lifeā perspective. But maybe we shouldnāt be looking at it like that.
Maybe we should be zooming in on the categories, sub-categories, and nitty-gritty individual actions.
Because lets lay out the facts here:
I decided I didnāt like corporate after my first corporate job, and now my second tooā¦ Thatās two data pointsā¦ Maybe I should zoom in and see what elements of corporate I donāt enjoy.
Freelancing got too complex and unpredictable, and from a life perspective, it meant ācool, letās try something else.ā In reality, it should have been, āwhat can I try, do differently, or change to make this work?ā
I quit āseriousā coding after starting other endeavors, hence never getting to the critical stage of being a fully-fletched software dev - this isnāt something Iām āboomerang-ingā back to; itās something I never gave a real shot at.
So now, putting things into perspective, I donāt feel like a boomerang; I feel like the guy throwing it.
And to keep getting it smoother, wider, and with more finesse, I need to keep throwing it because thatās how I learn - thatās how we all learn.
And what Iāve gathered from all of the life decisions I seemingly repeated above is that I havenāt given things a fair trial. And if I have, Iāve ruled out an entire umbrella category for it when in fact, it may be other elements of the action that didnāt resonate.
Not seeing results in the gym shouldnāt make us rule out exercise.
Not being successful in business shouldnāt surprise us when most founders only get it right on the 10th try.
I personally havenāt gone in deep on endeavors, and I havenāt properly considered that every ācorporate job,ā āfreelancing gig,ā or ābusinessā is different.
Time horizons and expectations are essential, and they go like this:
Six months in a project to see if youāre interested.
1.5 to 2 years to see if you can be successful at it.
An unknown amount of time and iterations to actually get there.
And learning a lot along the way. Thatās all it is, my gal or guy.
So if youāre finding that youāre coming back to something, again and again, hey, you might not be crazy.
You could have learned a thing or two; you could have reflected on it and realized the mistakes.
Itās when you go back and do the exact same thing, with no adjustment or appreciation as to why you quit the first time - thatās when youāre not throwing the boomerang anymore.
I hope you found some value in this long-winded, unnecessary analogy-riddled rant š.
š Link Dump
The theme of todayās link dump is consuming and creating excellent content because Iāve been obsessed with a few things in the last couple of weeks.
š©š¼āš³ Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat is a thick and fantastically illustrated book on cooking fundamentals - anyone can follow a recipe, but experimenting when you know what each element does to the food has elevated my date-night cooking game. Thereās also a Netflix series on it now.
š As promised, hereās my pre-publishing checklist - if you tick off most or every item on this list before publishing an article on Medium/Your Blog, itās likely a great article. Note that this checklist is ever-evolving, and the explanations arenāt 100% done yet.
š A new CMS/Email management system has hit the block, and itās called Beehiiv - I havenāt taken a deep dive, but itās promising because, unlike Substack and Revue, it passes on the revenue straight to the creator. Free up to 2500 subscribers.
š« Something to revisit, Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown. As Iām watching these episodes, itās crazy to see the number of podcasts, seriesā, famous people, Instagram accounts, and travel bloggers that have all clearly been inspired and even made by this legendary series.
As you watch the 2013-released first season, you can see the almost-decade worth of change in the world, and man, will it light the travel and foodie bug in you.
šŗ Armchair Advice
Anonymous: āWhereās the best place to go in Europe?ā
This person, who was actually anonymous, wasnāt specific, didnāt give me any personal goals, any preferences - cāmon, my guy.
I could say Naples to two different people, and one would love me while the other would hunt me down after going.
If youāre a backpacker, Iād suggest eastern Europe, the Baltics, the Balkans, and all the good stuff. Itās cheap, amazing, not as touristy, and youāll meet some really cool people.
If youāre going away for a holiday and want to see and eat what Europeās famous for - thatās when you should hang around central Europe, but a pro tip is to spend more time in less famous cities.
Utrecht & Nijmegen > Amsterdam
Dresden & Hamburg > Berlin
Glagow & Bristol > London
Anything > Paris
And I love that some of you are probably seething with anger after reading these recommendations, especially the Europeans who know more than I do š But Iām not saying ādonāt go to these citiesā; Iām saying ādonāt spend all your time at famous locations.ā
Thatās all for this one, ladies and gents.
Iāll catch you in the next.
Keep well.
āš¼ Sah